John 1 3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
I sometimes struggle with the amount of support Levi needs to get just to stay alive. I want him to one day to just get off of that ventilator and breath on his own. I want him to just start drinking straight from a bottle and gaining weight as quick as I do. It's hard to swallow the fact that it's just not going to all happen right away. I think God really struck me today with this idea that we are all really on life support. He created all things and therefore has the power to end all things. He allows us every single breath we take and does not promise us another. I don't mean this to sound depressing but really to give thanks to Him. He allowed us another day of life and also allowed Levi another day. You see Anjie and I have this great faith and assurance that when our time here is done we will move on to eternity with our Father in heaven. That is an amazing hope to live with. We also both love this life he has given us here on earth. We want to stay here to be together as a family and watch Levi grow up. It's an odd conflict to live with. Either way our joy is in him. Either way we walk with God in an amazing relationship. So this is the most important question we could ask of you tonight. If your life support got pulled this second then what is next for you? Where would you be? This is not a scare tactic but out of love we want you all to have this same assurance we do. Please don't put it off for one more second. Just look at Levi again. Look at how fragile life really is. We are not guaranteed one more second.
Levi still has a long road ahead. He gets his next heart scan tomorrow. From there we see if he needs surgery or if the duct is closing on it's own. This is a scary thought in a way but I feel God is giving us peace about it. He is having a good day by his standards. He is pretty stable so its just a waiting game. He call the shots so we just hope to see improvement. He is getting milk again which is great news. So far no infections or swelling on the brain.
For my prayer warriors:
Levi - For the duct to close on its own without surgery. For no infections. For him to tolerate the feedings. For more bowl movements!
Trent & Anjie - For wisdom in decisions and rest.
Levi seems to always slip an arm or leg out. I think its a game he plays with the nurses!
So glad you’re having a good day today Levi. Good days are a lot less stressful for your Mom & Dad and all of us who follow your blog daily. I pray that your heart scan tomorrow shows the doctors that the medicine has had its intended effect on your PDA --substantially smaller and on its way to totally closing so surgery won’t be necessary. I’m also glad your feedings have resumed and pray you will tolerate them well so you can gain a few ounces toward reaching the 2 pound milestone. Work on generating another poopy diaper for the nurse tonight. That will make her happy as well as your Mom & Dad. Continue to keep those infections at bay. Have a good night Levi and a great day tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteTrent and Anji, you and precious Levi are in my prayers daily. Thank you, Trent, for keeping us updated. What you wrote today was especially poignant - my mom and I had tears in our eyes. God Bless.
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